just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
