I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
