it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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