Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
