Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
