she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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