You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So squirting runs in the family.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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