I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
