Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
