Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
