Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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