your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
