went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sext me about skeletons
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
