I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
