How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
