but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
