If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
