apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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