Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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