I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
