Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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