yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
