You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
