Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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