it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
