i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
