Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you inspire me to be a worse person
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
