He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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