Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
