we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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