I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Drunk is not a location!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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