It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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