At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
