Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
