i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
