Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
