You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
