You can't motorboat a personality
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Terrible idea I love it
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
