Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
