So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
