He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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