Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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