why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
