So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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