doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
