This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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