just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
