My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
