I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
