we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
