Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
