Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
