just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
