just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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